On the thirtieth day of July, competitors built of sturdy frame and immeasurable spirit partook in the quarterly Hampton 100-Metre Dash. As the hour of the race drew nigh, our racers a' feet cast away trivial barbs of wit and foul tongue for a constitution defined by nothing 'cept fleetness of foot.
Our terrific Charles - with strides so long one wonders if he is not perhaps a distant relative to Gentleman Jack London, was the class of the field - defeating defending champion Geff in a glorious upset. Upon the conclusion, there was minimal ballyhoo, and our competitors shook hands with mutual agreement and regard for the physical rigors they had endured.
First position: Charles [the intern]
Second position: Geff
Also ran: Andrew, Johnny
