Reached for comment following the death of notorious gossip-monger Walter Winchell, Ted simply states: 'The world has lost its most true form of measurement. Mr. Winchell polarized our society into two very distinct parties - those with sense and those destined for an afterlife chin deep in the sick of a thousand pigs.' In 1956, nearly a year after a brief encounter with actress Gene Tierney while touring Hartford's 'Institute for Living' where he was 'completely and utterly removed from this world by Ms. Tierney's glance,' Winchell penned a report that Ted and Gene had eloped in a private ceremony at the home of Sherman Billingsley [Stork Club]. The rumour would create an irreperable fissure between Ted and Tierney admirer Senator John Kennedy.